Memory Bank

I'll get something off my chest. I know it is hard to fight the feeling that my mother was taken from us all too early. But when I think back on my mother's life: she accomplished everything one could wish for. What most spend a lifetime to achieve, she accomplished in a fraction of the time. She was a college graduate in an environment where no one attended college, she had a successful career as a teacher, she became a professional athlete, she found true love, and she started a loving family by giving life to my sister Tara and myself. I like to think that my mother lived the way she played volleyball: by moving fast and jumping high.


When I sat down to think about what to say at this event I came to a sort of revelation. Before my mother's sickness really started to take hold, I had really only been part of her life for 15 years or so. So, the majority of my mother's life, her personality, her joys, her 'wild years', her sadness-es, her adventures all happened before I was ever born. However, with that being said, I like to think that I was so much trouble to raise that I made those 15 years seem like three lifetimes. My point here is: I have been amazed at how many stories I didn't know about my mother, and am excited at what new things I may learn today.

And I won't dwell on the negative. What happened to my mother was cruel and I'll say nothing more. I just hope that wherever my mother is now, that she is happy with the time she spent here with us. I hope that somehow through it all she has always been able to feel how much I love her, How much WE LOVE her. And I hope that if given the opportunity to go back and do it all over again, she wouldn't change a thing.

My mother was not one to stay angry very long. Anytime we would fight, she would always be the first one to come in and offer a flag of truce in the form of a hug. This lesson seems to ring true even stronger now: bury the hatchet in a pointless dispute with those you love or care about. You never know what the future holds.

2) My mother did not believe in wasting the day.

To use time productively rather than squander it. My mother was always encouraging me to get out and get active and to limit my TV consumption. To get "outside". My mother also made fitness a defacto part of my life through her positive influence. Exercise is correlated to happiness and well being.

A quote from a Harvard Psychology Professor nicely summarizes this teaching: "Nothing gives life more purpose than the realization that every moment of consciousness is a precious and fragile gift."


3) My mother TRIED to teach me Organization.

And she said that if I didn't clean my room, I would never land a girlfriend. Anyway -- she wasn't always right about everything. However, her message does make sense: a clean house, a clean room, and good personal hygiene lead to a healthy confidence and pride.

4) My mother taught me that family is love.

When I was really young, I remember asking my mother "Mom, are we poor? or are we rich?". The answer, I kid you not, was "Jordie. We are family rich with love. And that is what a lot of people, even those who are very rich, often do not have. Regardless of how much money we have - consider yourself very lucky". I recall my mother saying that with the deepest sincerity -- because she trully believes it. Love your family, because when the chips are down -- they will (or should) ALWAYS be there for you. Their love, and your love for them -- is unconditional.

5) Be moral above all else

Flip to that back page of the program that was passed out and read my mother's creed. It is haunting to read, but inspiring as well.

I shall pass through this world but once.
If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show,
Or any good thing I can do, let me do it now
Let me not defer or neglect it,
For I shall not pass this way again.

Digest those words and their message. If only the world we inhabit breathed by this creed.

All these aforementioned lessons aggregated together, I believe, are the foundation of my mother's moral teachings. They guide my life each day, as if she were still here, talking to me, guiding me,and shaping the life that is ahead of me.

And I think she is someone we can all learn from.

Thank you.

I put together a quick video and some music to take us on a small part of the journey that is my mother's life. We'll start as a child with her loving parents and siblings, and move forward through the various loves of her life: Volleyball, teaching or coaching, my father, and ultimately her children. The music is important as well: The first is a song my mother used to love, the second is an outlook on life I think my family shares, and the third is a song I wrote for my mother.

-- CONCLUSION

It matters not our spiritual, religious or scientific beliefs - My mother does live on. Perhaps it is through the memories of others or in another heavenly world. Perhaps it is through the blood of her children. Perhaps it is in the form of her lessons that I hope to teach my own children. It matters not.